Thursday, June 24, 2010

Kickball 2010

O’Brien Advertising will be without starting pitcher Jessica Wood for the 2010 AD2 kickball tournament. Ms. Wood tore her pinky nail on her pitching hand and will be going to Oregon to see a specialist. The OBA team hopes the injury is not career ending. This monumental loss will make OBA’s chances of making their 4th consecutive semi-final extremely difficult. In an interview yesterday the wounded star stated, “You know, it’s a real tough break. Expectations are high this year. I just hope someone can fill my shoes while I’m with the good doc.” Team manager Jim Conwell will struggle to find a replacement for his star pitcher.

Dwane Cohen

Art Director

A note from our star pitcher who’s on the injured reserve list:

Hi Burnt Carrots,

Just wanted to send out a good luck note for the kickball tournament.  I am disappointed I will be missing our 4th shot at the gold, but thought I would leave you with a few pointers from the psycho, competitive person who doesn’t like to lose!

1. If you are in the outfield it is easier to run forward then backward. Some guys can boot it waaaay out there and the jog of shame back to the field isn’t fun.

2. The lucky person who is appointed pitcher will be very sore on Saturday (unless you are a young whipper-snapper). Do some lunges tonight and get loosened up! It’s an honor to be the pitcher and I expect you to wear your pitcher hat with pride!

3. Remember you can hit the base-runner with the ball below the head for an out…utilize this whenever possible. It scares the girls and makes them hesitant the next time up to the plate!

4. Beer ALWAYS helps with courage and stamina! Drink enough to kick every other agency’s tail, but refrain from needing a cab ride home.

5. Have fun!! Victory always puts a smile on one’s face!

6. OBA is a very talented, creative and ATHLETIC team…GO FOR THE GOLD!

I leave you with a quote:
“if you ain’t first, you’re last”
Reese Bobby, Talladega Nights

Kick some A** Burnt Carrots!!

Jessica Wood
Business Manager & Kickball Pitcher